Click.Bait.

deathA mysterious cabal of media owners hires a ruthless assassin to murder a series of celebrities in order to generate page impressions for their struggling web sites and sell newspapers.

Using a variety of methods, the assassin does away with a slew of high profile celebrities, making each case look like death by natural causes.

But when the latest – and youngest – star dies, a dogged London cop starts to smell a rat. The detective decides to set a trap, and sets out to use a legendary rock star as bait…

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Bumped

paperwork_1437130cBumped is a police procedural about a pair of cops, Small and Oates, whose cases always seem to get a lower priority than their more glamorous coworkers. While their colleagues ‘call in favours’ and ‘make phone calls’ to get DNA tests, autopsies, and other forensic work fast-tracked, our hapless heroes always have to wait. And wait.

Small and Oates have to resort to legwork, interviews, and painstaking paperwork in order to solve their cases. One particular case has them perplexed: the murder of a rich girl, her body found on the wrong side of the tracks. Had she gone too far? Did it matter? They’re told there’s a six month waiting time for DNA testing, but they keep getting bumped down the queue by their impatient colleagues, who keep circumventing the system and finding shortcuts. How will Small and Oates crack the case whilst being baulked by their fellow cops?

Alternative titles: All Our Cases Are Cold Cases; Paperwork.

The Alphabet Killer

Roumanie_Cora_Cotroceni_LujeruluiIn this dark thriller, a crazed graphic expert takes horrible revenge on any designer who uses Helvetica. The Alphabet Killer finds ever more elaborate ways of murdering his (or her) victims using various three dimensional font glyphs. The first victim is crushed by the giant letter a from a Cora supermarket…

After eliminating Helvetica (and Helvetica Neue) from the world, the Alphabet Killer dies in a police shootout. In an ironic twist, the final shot of the movie is the Killer’s grave: pull back to reveal that it has been engraved in… Comic Sans.

(The Killer’s secret accomplice reacts with horror, setting up the sequel: Alphabet Killer 2: You Think This is Funny?)

Member 55601

29213220-female-avatar-silhouette-profile-picturesPsychological thriller. A married man, unhappy in his marriage, falls in love with an anonymous profile on an opinion survey web site. He finds himself ‘strongly agreeing’ with all of Member 55601’s comments and obsessively rates all the same things.

Things take a turn for the weird when Member 55601 notices his interest…

Alternative titles: Do You Like Piña Coladas; Strongly Agree.

We’ve Got to Get You a Boyfriend

film_noir_0001This is a black comedy about Kate, a single woman serial killer whose friends keep setting her up with men. Every date ends the same way, with Kate killing the man in a creative way then disposing of the body.

She has conversations with the friends who set her up. “Did Mike call you after your date?”

“No, I never did hear from him again.”

“Bastard.”

Alternative titles: All Men Are Bastards; Kill Me Kate.